Meet the Parents Speed Stick Challenge (Digits Show)

Teenage Girls and Sport - A Parent's Perspective

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Why do girls love horses so much? I'm all in favour of it. I have a 13 YO daughter and encourage her in equestrian pursuits. I think a girl who has to train, ride and compete on her horse is a busy girl; and girls seem to LOVE their horses so much. I firmly believe that a girl only has so much love to give and more to the horse is less to the pimply boy she fancies at school! All jokes aside, I do think that teenagers in general need something to love, something to do their dramatic 'OMG no-one loves/cares about me' to, and give a sense of belonging to.

Why can't I do that you ask? Have a think about how often you are able to listen to your daughter tell her tale of woe. Her best friend is being nasty; the teacher unfair; the boy she feels will make life worthwhile doesn't know she exists? And when you think of listening to your daughter, are you already formulating in your head what you will say to her? What tips you believe might help her? How often would you hear the story and just go 'woof, neigh, purr, or slobber?' If you are like me you are jumping in there, boots and all ready to help her organise her life, sort her friends or the teacher out! So, stop right there please. Take a step back and think. Have you ever said something to your partner and had him/her tell you how to handle it? And have you not done what they suggested? Maybe because it didn't feel right to you. Or you felt that it wouldn't have helped the situation. Or what often happens, you have not carried out their ideas because you knew what you needed to do, but just needed to blow off steam first so you could handle it in a calmer manner? Think about how often that horse (or dog or cat) just make a noise that sounds so sympathetic and nudges you and looks at you with great love. Mmmmm, no wonder teenage girls love horses! When you look at it - it's a wonder all women don't love horses. And the added bonus of a horse/dog or cat is that they rarely tell your most embarrassing secrets to others.

From a parental point of view there is also the fact that in the teenage years girls tend to downscale their sporting/exercise levels. So a sport that seems to take teenage girls through their early to mid teens at least, is a big bonus. There are so many types of riding as well, so teenagers have many options. They may like to compete at high levels in Dressage, Jumping, Hacking. Or they may like to go on trail rides with a few friends or with a social riding club. They can join a Pony Club and learn all of the above and Mounted Horse Games as well. There is a lot to be learned about life as well when looking after an animal. They are there for you, but you need to also think of them. Food, shelter, water, rugs. There is organising to be done to attend horse activities. There is equipment to be maintained (and preferably not lost.) There is also communication. With other teenagers, with adults, with professionals whether they are the farrier, the horse chiropractor, or homeopath, judges at shows and events, riding teachers. They learn skills in different types of communication just by enjoying themselves. That is the best type of learning. There are many types of 'Natural Horsemanship' skills too. So they can learn not just about the basic needs of the horse, but learn to look for small signs that show how the horse is feeling, and therefore how they are likely to behave. This is a fairly advanced skill that many people could use on each other to make their own lives easier! Reading non-verbal skills is not just related to animals.

I feel quite sad when I see horses for sale 'due to study commitments, not enough time to give him/her'. It breaks my heart. It's not just about giving up riding/exercise either. There is more to girls giving up their horses for study. Is it right that girls should be so committed to study that they have to give up an activity that is physically so healthy, but also that gives them a sense of relaxation and often a sense of achievement? Looking at this from a slightly different point of view - Do we see boys giving up their soccer? Their snowboarding? Their cricket? Their Baseball? Is it more acceptable for boys to continue to make time for sport than for girls? And why do we find it normal for a girl to find time to watch her boyfriend at his sport, than for her to find time to do her own sport as well? Girls and their horses. Girls are very important in life. Horses are very important in many girls lives. I would dearly love to see girls being very important in other peoples lives. I believe a large problem is that we as a community expect that girls will drop sport and expect them to watch their boyfriends playing rather than compete themselves. I think our expectations colour what teenage girls do, as much as anything else. So what are my expectations? I want to see young men sitting ringside at the local gymkhana to see the love of their life competing. And at the side of the swimming pool. The skating rink. The motocross. The ski slope. Girls rule (as much as boys do) and they should feel important to us all. So to those pimply youths at school: when you can give my lovely daughter as much love, support, self esteem and friendship as that horse does, then I'll be happy to see you hanging around our house too. ;)